Thursday, March 7, 2013

Mommas Boy

As some of you may know I was laid off from my job in January. The bank I was working at closed the location I was working at. My last day was about a week before Hudson's second birthday. My husband and I made the very brave decision to let me stay home and raise our sweet boy. Yes, I'm starting to work from home [more on that in another post], but 95% of my day is devoted completely to that little boy.

I went back to work just a couple weeks after Hudson was born, and up until 3 days before Christmas I was actually working two jobs. Thankfully I had an amazing mom and mother in law that watched him while I worked, and an awesome husband who took care of things on the weekends while I worked. But it was HARD! [understatement of the year!] When Christmas came, I couldn't stand having to work Christmas yet again. So I quit that week. All while knowing I would be getting laid off at my other job in a couple weeks. My poor husband thought I was a mad women, which I'm not denying, but I just had to. I needed to be with my baby.

My mother & mother in law were so helpful. But NO ONE can raise your child like you can/will. Im sad I missed alot during those first 2 years, but Im stoked to not miss anything now. I'm not gonna lie. Things are tight. & it is not easy! But if it weren't for my amazing, stupendous, wonderful husband and complete faith in god that things will work out, I wouldn't be doing this. Im starting to work from home to help supplement some income so that is a blessing.

Hudson I know is loving me being home. But it has changed him.

Before, he was so used to going to grandmas. We could drop him off to run errands, and he wouldn't even blink an eye. Infact, he would just say "bye mom" and go off and play.  Now, its a complete 180. He cries just pulling into either grandmas drive way. "no grandma house! Hudson play mommas house!!" It breaks my heart. I still say bye & shed a tear or two as I walk out the door. All while he freaks out and cries for me in grandmas arms. Both grandmas say it only lasts 5-15 minutes. Then he will get distracted and get over it.

I love that he loves me so much, but I hate seeing him freak out every time I leave. I know its also a phase kids will go through. So, I'm not completely sure if I just have horrible timing in quitting my job, or if this is actually related to me being home now. [I'm going with the later].

Im not sure how to brake him of this. I know it breaks both grandmas hearts because its like he doesn't want to see them. He loves them both so much, he just doesn't want me to leave. Im debating taking him to grandmas house once a week just to get him back into that routine. Give me a couple hours to do some house work as well.

Who knows what Ill decide to do. But one thing is for sure. When he becomes a teenager an he never wants to be home, Ill be wishing and dreaming of these days.



  1. I have no good advice - Waverly is starting to show separation anxiety and while it does me me feel good - I hate to see her sad! Glad you are enjoying your choice to stay home!!!

  2. Bryn got this exact way while i was on maternity leave. While i work she goes to grandma's for 3 hrs a day. and the first couple days she would just cry and say i wanna stay home with you mamma! it's real hard, but it has already gotten better and it's just been a week.. I think it's a good idea to get him back into a routine even if it is one day a week.. good luck girl =) cute little babies we have =))

  3. What a blessing it is to be able to stay home with your son. I work from home full-time and had someone come in to watch my little guy until a month ago. I have him in a preschool (5 mins from my house). It was SO hard at first because he would cry every day when I dropped him off. The teachers all assured me that it only lasted a few minutes. He has gotten much better and I can see how much he is thriving.

    I agree with the previous commenter, set up a schedule where he can go to grandma's house once a week. I think he may cry a little, but I'm sure it doesn't last long. And he knows that you are coming back to get him. It'll get easier. :)

  4. This is so funny. I posted a while back about how Drew was going through a major daddy phase, but now it's mommy mommy mommy. I do love it, but it gets hard that he wants me to do everything now. You're totally right though. Someday we'll want these times back so bad!!

  5. I think it's partially the age and partially you staying home now! I mean, I stay home with Raya and she is fine being left anywhere now...but she totally "gets" how it all works. Brielle on the other hand is a Mama's girl and is not used to being left anywhere. I posted last week about me taking her to a daycare for the first time---I think it was good for her. However if money is tight obviously paying for daycare when you are home doesn't work so well. I'd probably take him to Grandma's once a week or something to keep him in a routine. Also I think it's important to do lots of playgroups, library story hour, etc...whatever you can find that is cheap or free....because sometimes being home they aren't as used to "strange" kids and the playgroups and things help Brielle a lot with being able to go play with new kids and not just sit by my side and cling to me haha.

  6. Nominated you for a Liebster Award :)