I went back to work just a couple weeks after Hudson was born, and up until 3 days before Christmas I was actually working two jobs. Thankfully I had an amazing mom and mother in law that watched him while I worked, and an awesome husband who took care of things on the weekends while I worked. But it was HARD! [understatement of the year!] When Christmas came, I couldn't stand having to work Christmas yet again. So I quit that week. All while knowing I would be getting laid off at my other job in a couple weeks. My poor husband thought I was a mad women, which I'm not denying, but I just had to. I needed to be with my baby.
My mother & mother in law were so helpful. But NO ONE can raise your child like you can/will. Im sad I missed alot during those first 2 years, but Im stoked to not miss anything now. I'm not gonna lie. Things are tight. & it is not easy! But if it weren't for my amazing, stupendous, wonderful husband and complete faith in god that things will work out, I wouldn't be doing this. Im starting to work from home to help supplement some income so that is a blessing.
Hudson I know is loving me being home. But it has changed him.
Before, he was so used to going to grandmas. We could drop him off to run errands, and he wouldn't even blink an eye. Infact, he would just say "bye mom" and go off and play. Now, its a complete 180. He cries just pulling into either grandmas drive way. "no grandma house! Hudson play mommas house!!" It breaks my heart. I still say bye & shed a tear or two as I walk out the door. All while he freaks out and cries for me in grandmas arms. Both grandmas say it only lasts 5-15 minutes. Then he will get distracted and get over it.
I love that he loves me so much, but I hate seeing him freak out every time I leave. I know its also a phase kids will go through. So, I'm not completely sure if I just have horrible timing in quitting my job, or if this is actually related to me being home now. [I'm going with the later].
Im not sure how to brake him of this. I know it breaks both grandmas hearts because its like he doesn't want to see them. He loves them both so much, he just doesn't want me to leave. Im debating taking him to grandmas house once a week just to get him back into that routine. Give me a couple hours to do some house work as well.
Who knows what Ill decide to do. But one thing is for sure. When he becomes a teenager an he never wants to be home, Ill be wishing and dreaming of these days.
